Why I am doing this?

Why am I doing this? Why did I start Jiu-Jitsu at age 57? Why didn’t I just go back to karate? If I did, I would be close to a black belt promotion.

First, I’ve been in love with martial arts since the mid-70s, when I watched the TV series Kung Fu with David Carradine. I started in the early 80s with Taekwon-Do and boxing, then moved on to karate. After almost 30 years off (I won’t go into all the details), I ended up with BJJ. I’m too old to waste time on bullshit, and my last karate was just playing around. The real deal was Kyokushin, which I have also done, but honestly, the intensity became too much for my age. So I thought BJJ might be the right thing. Also, my favorite TV character, Al Bundy, or rather the actor who plays him, Ed O’Neill, talked about how he began BJJ in his late 40s, so I decided to start. Not only to fulfill my childhood dream, but also for fitness, health, and self-defense in a cruel world. I’m not only a newbie in BJJ but also a “young” father of a 9-year-old boy. I have to stay fit and healthy because he needs me for at least 15 more years. All of this is my motivation.

Yesterday evening, in my last class, we again did single-leg takedowns and practiced triangle chokes and submissions from guard. The instructor wasn’t happy with our group's performance. I’m struggling with the transition from mount to locking my opponent’s shoulder and moving into the submission position. I always lose contact there, and an experienced grappler can immediately free himself. I have to work on it. My (lack of) mobility also plays a role.

At the end, I had four rounds of rolling. In the last round, I rolled with a man who is about 15 years younger, a little taller, and heavier than me. It was a typical round, like many times when we roll together. I failed to sweep him from guard, and he somehow got to side control and eventually mount. I struggled with his weight and with my panic attacks underneath him. But this time I beat myself, and with a lot of “bench pressing,” I didn’t let him submit me until the end of the round. So I was the winner because I overcame my panic attacks and didn't tap in any of the four rounds, although I was mostly just surviving.

The photo shows my battle scars after the class.