Yesterday’s class was, from my point of view, quite good compared to some other days.

Recently, I read online that if a grappler fights a striker, the grappler is usually the one who decides whether the fight stays standing or goes to the ground. And if it ends up on the ground, the grappler has the advantage and will most likely win.

Both my shoulders hurt, my chest hurts, my fingers hurt, my left outer ear hurts, all my muscles ache, and I’m covered in bruises and spots all over.

Eventually, I have started to understand what BJJ fundamentals really are: maintaining balance and stability, a solid, grounded posture, connection and pressure, and the use of frames.

Once Leo Tolstoy wrote:“I sit on a man's back choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am sorry for him and wish to lighten his load by all means possible... except by getting off his back.”

Last evening’s class — what can I say? I can’t say I’m satisfied, but I’m not completely dissatisfied either.

Since I last wrote something in my blog, I’ve only been to class twice because of the duties a graybeard dad has. I’ve also done two training sessions on my own: some bicycling, walking (yes, that counts as a workout too), pull-ups, mobility work, core training, and exercises for my sore shoulders.

“…learning how to relax under pressure is a key step to tapping into its potential.”That’s what Josh Waitzkin writes in his book The Art of Learning.

Only three classes this month — it takes its toll. Due to two business trips this month, I couldn’t train more, and last Wednesday I really felt that something was missing. I did some burpees, push-ups, and core training in the hotel room, but it wasn’t enough.

Even though I had a two-week break, I noticed some improvement last Friday. My panic reactions when I am underneath someone are much more under control. I don’t feel the same fear I did a few months ago. I know it may appear again from time to time, but it is much better now.